Me

I'm a lover and a fighter. I get angry easily, but I'm working on it. I sleep and think too much, but I get my s**t done. I have a weakness for sweet talkers, but I'm learning and enforcing my boundaries. I don't let many people in, but once they're in, they're there forever. I'm  not strong and independent and I've been broken and shattered into million of pieces.

The reason I don't let anyone new in my life is I'm scared that they might just leave me there in a dark and cold place,no matter how close you are to me I just cant find a place in my heart for you or anyone new.I may say that I love you and you mean the world to me but its really hard to find a special place to put you cause all the doors in my heart is all close and dark.I may have an awesome family and friends but I have never had a perfect relationship,I always end up being hurt and sacrificing everything I have to make others happy but not even once I take the time to think about my happiness.Even though I'm sacrificing everything there are some people who called me selfish,inconsiderate and the worst is being called a b***h,that hurts so badly to know that there are people who hate me when I have never done anything wrong or hurt their feelings.

I have told my self a million times that god is busy writing my life story with a happy ending and I would close my eyes with a big smile...As days,weeks,months and years pass I give up in believing that I'm going to have a happy ending.I should be the one writing my life story not god cause he is only there to help me and guide me through but not there to write a perfect story cause no one has a perfect life everyone has their up's and downs and just have to be smart to deal with it no matter how bad it turns out to be...To me my problems are big and I'm scared that I might just cry in the dark all alone.The truth is I'm a really week person on the inside but at the outside I'm strong for everyone but not my self.I can stop people from crying but when it comes to me I cant wipe my tears and tell my self that everything is going to be fine.

I want to be the girl who can dust her self,wipe her own tears and say that everything is going to be fine,I'm really dying to do that but I'm just to week to wipe away my tears or open up to some one. I can never be the perfect daughter,sister,best friend or girlfriend I can never be that girl and now I'm right back to where i started; sober and miserable.

-I'm just not your girl and I will never be one ( every word starts with a tear drop )

(Here is the truth you want)