All the doors opens

They say when one door closes, another door opens. But there is always a door you try to open, but is locked. The door that you want to stay closed, but always finds a way to open itself up again, no matter how many times you slam it. There’s the trapped door that you fall in and find a new adventure, and the door that you thought you closed a long time ago, but the whole time it was open just a crack. Waiting for you to notice, but you never do. So it stays open, just waiting for you to pass again and decide to place your hand on the handle, and push, revealing the world you left behind. And when you finally do, you realize it everything you needed, everything you wanted, everything that made you happy. You wonder why you left, why you thought you needed more, why you weren’t happy at the time. Then you realize that happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a way of life. And with that realization, all the doors open.

You don't really see it...

You didn't see all the tears I cried. You didn't see how much I tried. So I guess I'll just let you be, even if that means being without me.You get tired of it. You get tired of being the girl the guys use for the self-confidence of the day And you tell them to look somewhere else. Like this cliche but you really do put up a wall to see who cares enough to knock it down. And you want to find someone who is man enough to knock it down so you wait, and you wait, and you cry, and there it is, still standing and there you are broken in pieces. It's like the wall you put up and show the world is fake. You try to smile. You try to be happy. When what's inside the wall is already destroyed. So it's like there's no use for the wall. Everything worth pretending got destroyed before you decided to build it. So now your more vulnerable than ever. And sure guys come along and flirt but all you are to them is someone who they can flirt withand get advice about the girls the really want. But eventually in time, a guy will come along and he will want to be with you always. And when you push him away. He'll come back more determined. When you tell him you don't love him. He'll come back for more, because he knows that your hurt and he knows you have to learn to trust him. He'll be there for you no matter how hard you try to make him leave. It'll never be easy, but it'll be worth it.


-Bryan you have never been on the side lines in my life,you have a special place in my life its just that I don't want to look for you cause I don't you to be worried about me and I want to be there with you on your hard times,I want to be the girl who can brighten up your day and make you feel good about your self.The love that you have for me is something that I will cherish forever.I have lost track of how much of 'I LOVE YOU" you say in a day...when ever I get your text I will be smiling like a crazy girl who is madly in love with her boyfriend...I admire you so much in every little way that you wont know and the love I have for you is ONLY FOR YOU...so don't ever think that you are standing on the side lines you are always special to me.

Leaving soon

I'm just a week away from getting my Visa to study in Canada and live there.I'm freaking out like crazy,scared and sad.I made the choice that I want to leave to Canada for good and now I'm having this wired feelings??The last time I wanted to go and so many things were holding me back from going,first of all my parents,friends,boyfriend and the life I'm having now in Malaysia.

My parents and my brother promise me that life will be good there.When I'm there I get a car,my best friend gets to stay in my house and the best part is school without uniform,that is every teenage girls dream and I'm living that life.Why is it I cant have something that most people get which is LOVE??I got the perfect boyfriend and now I got to leave him and go across the country and I only get to see him during a long school break.

I wish he will be with me when I'm there,but I cant ask for that cause he has to think of his parents and his life,all I do his wait for him to come there or see him during the long holidays.I wish I did not have to choose between you and going to Canada.

While eating just now my parents were asking me weather I'm ready to go to Canada and I was like 'hmmmm I don't know',I guess I'm a little scared.Dad was like if you don't want to go we can just cancelled your visa and you don't have to go,I just sat there and stare at my mum and dad for the past 10min like a lost puppy...I wish I had an answer to my parents questions.

Did I make the right choice by choosing to go to Canada over my boyfriend???Somedays you just can't seem to smile..not even put the usual fake one. All you wanna do is stay in bed and hide under your blanky. You're in tears and the pain is evident on your face. And you just...Don't want anyone to see you like that...not even your reflection.

He is something...

His something that god gave me..for a long time I have been praying to get a guy who understands and loves me,that was the only two things I ask god for and I finally got it.He brings out the best out of me,I feel happy all the time when I hear his voice and the way he laughs that is good enough to brighten up my day.He gave me something to believe in.All I want to do is sleep by his side,hug him all night and kiss him all day,I don't want to be far away from him.

I wanna be remembered as the girl who always smiled,the one who could always brighten your day even if she couldnt brighten her own.I may not be able to handle my life but I can promise you that I will always be there with you all the time no matter how bad things get worst.I don't share with you my problems is because  I don't want you to be worried of me all the time I just want you to be happy with me and have a good and solid relationship with me.I want to bring out the best of you like how you did to me.

I may not be the most beautiful girl like all your ex girlfriends,but all I can offer you is my love and heart for you.You are everything to me,your my teddy bear,my adviser,therapist and most of all my life..he means the world to me and I don't ever want to leave him no matter how much we fight.I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go.

After I fell in love with you, I fell in love with my life.Everytime I say I love you...I'm really trying to say so much more than those three little words.I'm trying to say you mean more to me than anyone else in the world I'm trying to let you know that I adore you and that I cherish every moment we talk.I'm trying to explain that I want you and that I need you and that I get lost in wonderful thoughts every time I think about you.And each time I  say "I love you", I'm trying to remind you that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I love you. I find you fun, funny, attractive, talkative yet sometimes quiet, caring, easy to like, annoying, lovable, great, hard to talk to, easy to talk to, too open, too nice, really mean. I think that you’re worth all the awkwardness, the fights, the arguing, you’re worth all the tears, you’re worth all the pain. It doesn’t matter because I think you’re worth it.

Thinking of you keeps me awake, Dreaming of you keeps me asleep, Being with you keeps me alive,but most of all Loving you keeps me happy

-Bryan thank you for putting up with all my problems and fights..even all that you are still here for me by my side saying I LOVE YOU all the time even tough I made you cry.I should not have break up with you because of something small and it was not your fault,I don't know what went into me that made me say like that to you when it was never your fault.Once again I;m truly sorry for everything that has happen.

Thank you for everything and all the support and advise you gave me..most of all I LOVE YOU the most and the last guy I will fall for

I love you Mr.Teddy....<3 <3 <3

Life

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to
others'. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts
of things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in
the positive present moment.
3. Don't over do; keep your
limits.
4. Don't take yourself so
seriously; no one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious
energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are
awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You
already have all you need..

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't
remind your partner of his/her
mistakes of the past. That will
ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time
hating anyone. Don't hate
others.
10. Make peace with your past so
it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your
happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school
and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the
curriculum that appear and fade
away like algebra class but the
lessons you learn will last a
lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don't have to win every
argument. Agree to disagree.


Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something
good to others
17. Forgive everyone for
everything
18. Spend time with people over
the age of 70 & under the age of
6
19. Try to make at least three
people smile each day
20. What other people think of
you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of
you when you are sick. Your
family and friends will. Stay in
touch.


Life:
22. Do the right things.
23. However good or bad a
situation is, it will change.
24. No matter how you feel, get
up, dress up and show up.
25. The best is yet to come.
26. Get rid of anything that isn't
useful, beautiful or joyful.
While you practice all of the
above, share this knowledge
with the people you love, people
you school with,
people you play with, people
you work with and people you
live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life,
but also that of those around
you.

thanks...

Do you ever think about that maybe the guy or girl we cant get over is actually our soulmate its just wrong timing or that under different circumstances that you guys would have ended up together? or is it just me that feels that way? I mean its like you know deep down that, that person and you were suppose to last but for some reason it just couldnt. and when you look back at your times you cant help but think that this isn't the way it should have ended between you two. I mean its like you cant hide the fact that you guys had something or have something. Those feeling will never go away so why would that person go away?

Today he told me something and I did not believe him cause I thought he was lying to me but turns out the person I trust the most has talk bad about me to him.I'm happy that he did not believe what ever she said about me to him,he trust me but not her.The moment he told me that she was talking bad about me my tears started coming down like crazy and it could not stop cause she was like a sister to me and I trusted her the most.I could not even cry my heart out cause my whole family was here and I did not want to spoil anyone's mood.I took the car keys and went to the car and site there and cry for o long I did not even know who to look for,then that very moment I got a text from him so I pick up my phone call him and started crying on the phone cause it hurts so much and I needed someone badly.He talked to me and clam me down,I felt like my problems are gone and I feel much better after hearing his voice and advise.

-During moments of ;

Happiness, PRAISE HIM

Sadness, PRAISE HIM

Loneliness, PRAISE

Hurting, PRAISE HIM

Confusion, PRAISE HIM

Anger, PRAISE HIM

Pain, PRAISE HIM\

-Thank you bryan for everything....<3 <3 <3

making the right choice

Today has turn out to be the worst day,my brother set up a date with my ex boyfriend and he did not even tell me that I was going for lunch with him.I thought that it was only going to be me my bro and his girlfriend but turns out that the lunch was for me to give him another chance to makes things works again.

I'm so freaking sick of giving another chance to people who cant even make the second one right.Jut give me a fucking reason why the hell you want to get back???I don't ask for much all I ask you to do is leave me alone,3 years has past and I have moved on from everything.It hurts but I took a step forward and made some changes in myself and I feel good about it.I wasted every tear drop on people who don't care about me anymore.

I ALWAYS put peoples happiness first then mine will be the last thing to do,what I do for my family and friends makes me happy and that is good enough for me.To me my friends and family is very important in my life cause without them I would be nothing in life.I also thank god for the awesome family and friends that he gave me with them around I feel happy.

Before all this dating happen I was the most happiest teen,I was enjoying my life.The friends and family I had  was awesome.Then one day I felt so lonely and I wanted to date a guy like my friends,so I decided to find a guy for me and also to feel that feeling of being loved by someone.I found my first love and it felt so nice to have that feeling of being loved by someone.After 3 years of dating we broke up for a reason and that time was the hardest time for me.As time past I got over it and moved on.

Now I'm dating an new guy who is so sweet,trust god,give me advise,love me for who I am and most of all he love me the most.I do love him alot but things are getting hard for me and him,first problem is I'm leaving the country,my ex boyfriend is going to be in the same place where I'm going to be and my brother is hoping for me to get back with my ex boyfriend cause my brother thinks he is a good guy and he deserved another chance.I know I did not fight with my ex for anything and I broke up with him because of my friend,but I have moved on and I'm with someone else.

When you love someone, you’ve got to trust them. There’s no other way. You’ve got to give them the key to everything that’s yours. Otherwise, what’s the point?...for now I'm taking one step at the time to open up to him and trust him fully....I think its worth to give it a shot.

Now I got to choose weather to leave him or go to Canada for good and forget about everything here in malaysia and start over and my brother promise me that everything will be fine if I leave everything behind.
I always tell myself this...
“I know it seems hard sometimes but I got to remember one thing. Through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep your head up… and handle it

When you love someone, you’ve got to trust them. There’s no other way. You’ve got to give them the key to everything that’s yours. Otherwise, what’s the point?...for now I'm taking one step at the time to open up to him and trust him fully....I think its worth to give it a shot.

But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins.



-Just the right place to find a schadenfreude

moments

Every person has number of moments where he or she may lose control and endanger the relationship he has. In a marriage or relationship of mutual admiration, it is important for the other partner to understand the nerve and show support. Sometimes, things turn a bit tricky and people run off. Here comes the significance of a person who loved the essence of you. Be who you are, if you pose something else to appease someone , sooner or later you will get confused and will be stranded in the middle. Won't get the person you admired and lose yourself .. Let people fall for the person you are : )

The kind of girl..

i'm the kinda girl who is the one who is always there for everyone else when they need it. the one who puts others before herself. i'm the kinda girl who would rather be in sweats, big tee's and no make up at school, but dresses up because its what people expect of her.i'm the kinda girl, who regrets little things from the past, like not joining a sports team.i'm the kinda girl who loves her sports, but also loves getting dressed all fancy and acting like a princess. i'm the kinda girl who everyone knows her name, but nobody takes the time to know her. the one everyone sees walking with her one best friend and they all just stare. I'm the kinda girl who can be hurt, but will take time to make someone else happy, even though she cant make herself.I'm the kinda girl who acts all tough, but is really not as tough as you think. the girl that jokes around, but sometimes likes to be serious. the kinda girl who acts like things dont bug her or hurt her, just so people dont think they are actually bothering her. the kinda girl who can take so much pain, and bottles it all up inside her.i'm the girl that is afraid of rejection and denial, but yet risks so much. i'm the kinda girl who just wishes some things would change. the one that wants something different and new. and is sick of bulls**t.

life..

Life isn't just about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you
And it's not about who you've dated or haven't dated at all.
It isn't about who you've kissed,
What sport you play,
Or which guy or girl likes you.
It's not about your shoes or your hair
Or the color of your skin,
Or where you live or go to school.
In fact it's not about grades, money,
Clothes, or colleges that accept you or not.
Life isn't about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone,
And it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
Life isn't about that.
But life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about how you feel about yourself.
It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.
It's about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance
And building confidence.
It's about what you say and what you mean.
It's about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have.
Most of all it is choosing to use your life.

In a way that could have neverbeen achieved otherwise.
These choices are what life's about.

WISDOM OF THE SOUL

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in. ... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never "have it all together."

8. Life is a journey... not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

16. Look for opportunities. ..not guarantees.

17. Life is what's coming....not what was.

18. Success is getting up one more time.

19. Now is the most interesting time of all.

20. When things go wrong.....don' t go with them.

21. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

22. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.

23. A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find, and lucky to have.

24. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

25. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look behind.

teenager...

Teenage Years
Big dreams
Stupid fights
Sleepy days
Endless nights
Broken hearts
Mascara tears
Cell phone bills
Report card fears
Clothes too tight
Shoes so high
Out past curfew
Another lie
Eyeshadow color
Midnight black
Lip gloss flavor
Cherry Attack
Belts with stars
Boys with cars
Just a taste of teenage years
When even your biggest problems
Are too small for tears !

for you Mr.Teddy..

I loved you yesterday
I love you today
I'll love you tomorow, in every way
I hope in my heart, u'll always stay

you make me happy
you make me smile
every moment with you, is so worth while

without you with me
i wouldnt survive
your the one thing that keeps me alive

dont break my heart
stay by my side
I miss u the most when we say goodbye

you are my last love
your my only today
the way your laugh makes me happy

when i think of you, my heart skips a beat

so stay with me now

forever and more..

He loves me just the way I am

and I love him just the way he is

He is my teddy bear 

He is my therapist and listen to my problems

He is my teacher and help me learn

If feels so nice to sleep after talking to him

cause I would dream the most beautiful dreams

every night...

I cant for the day where I see his 

face first thing in the morning and smile 

cause he is beside me...

-Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be...

(love you Mr.Teddy) <3 <3 <3

trust your self..

Do things you know you can’t do, or think you can’t do but hope in your deepest most secret hidden heart that you can. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb. Or two. Or twelve. The harder you fall, the farther you’ll rise. And the louder you fail, the clearer the distant bell of your future will ring. Failure is a gift. Welcome it. There are people who spend their lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances passed them by and why they didn’t take the road less traveled. Those people are not you. You have the front-row seat to your own transformation. And in transforming yourself, you might just transform the world. Believe that, and embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. Now. Not ten minutes from now, not tomorrow, really now. Know that, truly in your bones, and wake up each morning remembering it. And then keep going.