What's wrong with me..?Why am I looking back at the past and trying to fix something when its too late?am I that desperate?I thought I'm way better then this,but I'm wrong about me moving on...I'm still stuck in that time where it all started and ended.One time I totally forgot about everything then one day it all comes back so fresh like it just happen yesterday. I don't know why I wanted to grow up so fast, the lessons got harder and the teachers are a hell of a lot meaner.Lying on the bedroom floor, trying your damn hardest to breathe while at the same time wondering where it all went wrong and how you're gonna get up and act like it's all right, and what the hell am I going to do about that gaping hole in my chest?
Everyone says when you're upset or in tears you should let it all out and so I did it but it never got any better but instead I lost it,till I have no idea why on earth am I crying so much when it happen a long time ago. I never knew I'm that weak and really broken, I always give the stupid advise on what's the past is gone and my so called favourite word ....MOVE ON...Its useless when I'm still lost in the past and the fact I'm still stuck there ;) People close to me thinks that my life is perfect and I got nothing to worry about...want to know a little secret guys??what ever happens to me stays in my room and when I leave my room I leave all my tears hidden in there cause that's the only place I don't have anyone to talk about and me looking in a bad shape.I tried being the person I'm not and I thought it would be better but it was never the right thing at all in the first place. Is it wrong in putting other peoples feelings first before mine?I know its gonna hurt at the end of the day but I feel proud of my self cause someone else is happy and I'm the reason for it...Hmmm I really hate growing up right now,I wish to be a kid as long as I want or when I'm ready to grow up and face everything that's hits me right in the face.My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them and that scares the crap out of me ;)
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