Leaving soon

I'm just a week away from getting my Visa to study in Canada and live there.I'm freaking out like crazy,scared and sad.I made the choice that I want to leave to Canada for good and now I'm having this wired feelings??The last time I wanted to go and so many things were holding me back from going,first of all my parents,friends,boyfriend and the life I'm having now in Malaysia.

My parents and my brother promise me that life will be good there.When I'm there I get a car,my best friend gets to stay in my house and the best part is school without uniform,that is every teenage girls dream and I'm living that life.Why is it I cant have something that most people get which is LOVE??I got the perfect boyfriend and now I got to leave him and go across the country and I only get to see him during a long school break.

I wish he will be with me when I'm there,but I cant ask for that cause he has to think of his parents and his life,all I do his wait for him to come there or see him during the long holidays.I wish I did not have to choose between you and going to Canada.

While eating just now my parents were asking me weather I'm ready to go to Canada and I was like 'hmmmm I don't know',I guess I'm a little scared.Dad was like if you don't want to go we can just cancelled your visa and you don't have to go,I just sat there and stare at my mum and dad for the past 10min like a lost puppy...I wish I had an answer to my parents questions.

Did I make the right choice by choosing to go to Canada over my boyfriend???Somedays you just can't seem to smile..not even put the usual fake one. All you wanna do is stay in bed and hide under your blanky. You're in tears and the pain is evident on your face. And you just...Don't want anyone to see you like that...not even your reflection.