Being an option...

Being an option to someone is something stupid and mean to do...First of all being in love with some for so long and you end up finding out that you were an option after being rejected by another girl.Before you date that girl make sure you tell her that you propose to another girl and she said no so I came to you,don't make the second girl look like a fool to her self...

One thing I just don't understand about guys,why the hell do you even bother asking another girl if the first girl has rejected to you???Don't you think that you are not looking for a relationship but just to pass your time when your friends are just to busy to attend to you.I'm sure you can think before you do something.

All that its just for a guy I used to love...I can't take this anymore. I want to be happy, I want this stupid pain to go away. People can be so mean, you know? They make fun of you, they make fun of the things you hate the most about yourself and even tough they know it affects you, they still keep doing it and they don't stop. You start to believe in the things they tell you, you start to look in the mirror and all you see are your imperfections, all you see is a ugly person. You become so insecure that you build a wall around you and you let very few people in. You change because all those mean words made you a different person, they changed you.

This is a nightmare, why can't I look in the mirror without crying? I am tired of all this bulls**t, of all this ghosts that haunt me, of all the mean words I can't forget...just tired of this life. People don't understand how hard it can be when you don't like yourself. I just hope that someday it gets better and the pain disappears. The scars will stay forever, I know that, but I want to be happy and to feel completely okay about myself. I wanna live life and lose the fear I have.... I want to feel beautiful and wanted, who doesn't right? I want to be the person I used to be years ago, not this stupid limited version of what I can truly be. This is my life.